Another mindAnother soulAnother body to grow oldIt's not complicated
And you're miles awayAnd yesterday you were here with me
Another tearAnother cryAnother place for us to dieIt's not complicated
Another love that's gone to wasteAnother light lost from your faceIt's complicated
Autumn Leaves — Ed Sheeran//
Its funny how the expected catches you off guard. You have seen it coming. You have seen it coming all along.
I feel like i have fooled myself. It feels like i am the one who hurts me.
Yeah, you think life goes on still. Nothing blew out the fire inside you, anyways. But here i am so blue, my fingertips cant feel a thing, my nails turn purple, my skin goes pale.
Just when you think there is a way out, you find out that its actually an illusion. Probably because you have wanted it so badly that you started to make things up on your mind, maybe because you simply forgot you have never been in control of yourself.
Its not your fault, no its not your fault. (heirloom - sleeping at last.)
Then who.I need something to be wrong, because something has to be — someone has to be. This is wrong, this is not right.
Its funny how you are wrecked by something you knew would happen. Something you have prepared to deal with.
You thought you were ready, you bastard liar.
Stop lying to yourself, why cant you?
I am tired being like this; being so tired that i just want to lay down and write. I couldn't find the strength to cry, even when i needed it. Guess my eyes are fed up already.
I am even tired of arguing.
Back to the poem on my header; what happen when a dream deferred?
Maybe nothing. Everything will still flows the way it should be everyday. Your deferred dream will be forgotten, you will be sucked into the despair — ends up in desperation, alone. But life goes on, just like the way the world rotates; and they aren't just going to stop to wait for you.