All this time i was finding my self
And i didn't know i was lost.
I used to be amused by statements saying that teenagers are trying to figure out themselves. Like, puffff what the hell? You make it sound like we are dangerous.
Oh well, those times when you are certain about yourself is not exactly your teenage phase, then. i have been trapped in this beautiful misery (trying to make it sounds more dramatic) for quite awhile now. The unstable mind of mine is the proof. The insecurity, uncertainty, fitted but feeling otherwise, and being the only one standing with tears while the others are rolling on the ground laughing. Its tiring, struggling to get through this phase. But the struggles kind of making it memorable. The rebellious side of you that you never thought you had. The part of you that you never had the chance to know. I didn't really know the meaning of "figuring themselves",i guess thats what amused me most. I thought we should have known who we are since we were born, nobody needed to tell us who we were, not even ourselves. But then there comes the time when; it matters. What everybody says about us matters. What we see in ourselves matters. What others do matters. What we do matters. Everything becomes more complicated than it should have been. The path that used to be a one direction only becomes one hundreds. Too many opportunities, too little time. Too many new things to explore, too many boundaries. Too many things we want to do but we cant. And it comes to the point when you are ot satisfied enough with your life that you start seeing the others and you become such a spoiled bitch who doesn't know how to be grateful. You are in the dilemma between choosing which path you want to take, that you forget the bigger picture; everything does not revolve around you.
There are billions people out there who are trying to overcome their problems that mostly are bigger than what you are facing, and some of them have faith that they can get through this. So why don't you have a little faith in yourself and stop being selfish for a sec?
(I wish doing it would be more easy than writing it though)